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Mama

Mama

First of all, let me say that while I enjoy this film, I was disappointed with it when I first saw it – especially after Mama herself shows up and starts inducing her flashbacks in people.  Like with “Boogeyman” it was scarier to let my imagination do the work.  On the other hand, I appreciated their DVD release timing in conjunction with Mother’s Day.  Well played.

Now let’s get started.

I’ve learned that yelling at your kids while in a manic state and driving upwards of 50 mph on an icy mountain pass will result in an accident.  Ergo, never yell at your kids.

I’m glad there’s an Evil Dead cabin in the woods, introduced by a low angle frontal push in with leaves blowing across frame. I find myself wondering what this movie would have been had they just escaped to a motel 6.

While at the cabin, the kids dine solely on cherries.  Where her ass got a never ending amount of cherries in the dead of winter is beyond me.  Then again, I don’t claim to know anything about cherries.

The credit sequence:  I’m a fan of children’s drawings depicting scenarios by means of exposition and credit background-age.  I think kids draw the creepiest things.  Even if it was really a production designer getting blitzed and then drawing like a 4 year old.  Either way.

Speaking of children, I think this movie would have been a lot (a LOT) creepier had it gone this way:

Two hunters, after peeing out a 6-pack of beer, discover this memed “cabin in the woods.”  They decide to explore and encounter creepy feral children who crawl around and are hard for the clearly inept hunters to hit with their inebriated aim.  We cut to credits right before the obvious death of the second hunter (we’ll assume the first hunter died right away in the beginning).  Then the movie plays out about these creepy-ass kids in this house.  Maybe toward the end they’re taken into a family and you think things will be ok, but then when they’re in society something snaps, they kill their host family, maybe taking with them the newborn, and escape back into the woods.  I think that would be better, let’s make that film.

I dislike stock lines like “What are you saying” and “What is it / what’s out there?” when the answer is obvious, or it’s obvious there’s no answer.  Can’t Joss Whedon just write all horror films?

Another horror meme – someone sleeping opening their eyes when the hero isn’t looking or has left the scene.  I’m not talking about someone you think is dead opening their eyes.  That’s legit creepers, I’m talking about the mom kissing a child on the forehead and leaving and the child’s eyes opening (or what have you), suggesting a sinister nature about the child and how they wanted to appear sleeping . . . to be extra . . . evil . . . somehow.  i just think it’s an odd way to chill people.

At this point I probably missed some good critiques because a terrible spider from Chris’s room ran across my leg.  MY FUCKING LEG.  That was the scariest part of this whole endeavor.  I was well within rationality screaming like I did.  It was massive.

Why is public records in this suburban town so damn thorough and articulate – able to work seemingly non-stop to find information on a long-forgotten patient.  It’s as if they knew that this case was miles more ominous than their other day-to-day and could suddenly fill in all the historical gaps for the Audience. . . I mean Doctor . . . who was inquiring.

Why – WHY – do both adult figures get weird flashbacks?  It doesn’t make sense for the brother to be as creepy about it as he is.  Why can’t he just appear, in a lavish robe and say, “Listen, there’s a crazy ghost woman who’s been feeding my kids cherries and raccoons for the past 3 years.  She’s wicked territorial and deranged and you should probably go save them maybe.”  Same goes for Mama, why would she want this other woman to know her story, potentially sympathize with her, and lead her straight to where she hangs out?  I don’t feel like Mama would want that…

Clifton Forge 9 – band name.  Dibs.  Suddenly everyone can find this damn cabin that was SO ELUSIVE for the past 3 years.

Though I didn’t like the aunt, I didn’t hate her enough to want her to die easily and horribly.  I don’t really like when corpses are set up in spaces to be stumbled upon and then destroyed.  She was literally propped standing up with her back to the screen so that they could come in, turn her around and be horrified.  She then dropped to the ground.  A)  How’s she standing up?  B) Why?  C) Waste of time.

Can we talk about how bright it is outside and in the woods?  That’s fine, I don’t want to either.

Basically from the point that Mama started showing up I was checking out, but the ending was way too over the top.  Why – WHY – did only her hair need to crawl toward people to then attack them?  Why did the Annabelle grabs Victoria, Mama pushes her down, she falters (repeat) happen 3 – 4 times?  Why was Lucas basically useless throughout this entire thing?

That one I can answer, this film has a mutation of the traditional TFG – 2 final girls – Annabelle and Victoria (who was basically a Jekyll / Hyde with Lily this entire film where the good and pure triumphed.) This is interesting because they both overcome different evils, they both change and evolve in the end.  Annabelle couldn’t have been TFG on her own because she was already corrupted.  She was in a band, she smoked, she drank, she was promiscuous – but adding Victoria made it possible because she could be all the innocence.  Had Annabelle died in the end, the story would have been “believable” and tragic because as an audience we’d’ve seen her progress and change and would have been saddened that she was lost – BUT we would have still had our pure survivor.  Had both children died, the emotional attachment of the film would have been ruined and it would have lost it’s compassion.

Think about it.

Also think about how, as far as social services is concerned, they’re fucked.

About iamidonquixote

I like horror films. I will speak in spoilers.

3 responses to “Mama

  1. Great post. A lot of good points, especially the one about social services probably arresting the parents. Obvious, but I hadn’t thought of it. BTW, I enjoyed Mama, but I like your imaginary version better.

  2. Paul ⋅

    MY FUCKING LEG.

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